Angels from Another Pin
(Neoplasm pleonasm)


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30 September 2003 ::   That had better be a hypothetical question  
A Miracle of Science, with with 100% of your RDA of people who aren't listening to each other.

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The Field Guide to American Spacecraft is a stunningly comprehensive list of the current locations of every manned spacecraft launched by the United States. The listing also includes the locations of a number of full-scale mockups and engineering testbeds which are on public display.

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25 September 2003 ::   Judging from the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that  
Mark is Jan Vermeer in the new A Miracle of Science.

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Myths for the third millennium: an astronaut ghost story.
Astronaut Donald Kent "Deke" Slayton, one of the original Mercury astronauts, crew member of the 1975 US-USSR Apollo-Soyuz mission, and an avid Formula 1 racing pilot, died at his home in Texas at 3:22 AM on June 13, 1993.

Later that same day, at 7:58 AM local time, at the John Wayne Airport in Orange County, California, a Formula One racing plane with registration number N21X took off and repeatedly buzzed the field and performed a series of aerobatics. The extremely noisy high-speed racer was seen and heard by many people who clearly identified the aircraft type and wrote down the N21X registration. The FAA investigated and determined that the noise level mandated by law had been exceeded.

On July 20, Deke's widow Bobbie received a letter from the FAA to Donald K. Slayton, notifying him of the violation.

Bobbie contacted the FAA, pointing out that Deke had been dead for 6 hours before the incident. She further added that N21X had been donated to a racing museum in Sparks, Nevada several months earlier, and that before being displayed, the racer's engine was removed.

Bobbie remarked that it probably took Deke 6 hours to find Gus Grissom to prop the plane for him.

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24 September 2003 ::   SOY GIVES YOU STRENGTH! STRENGTH CRUSHES ENEMIES!  
So what, pray tell, is your soul worth? (Actually, given the background of the site, perhaps "pray tell" isn't the proper choice of phrase.)

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Jessica Gothie
Caring for books is caring for history.
Several works in the collection have all but come back from the dead, like the fragments from the Cairo Geniza, which lay for 800 years in the attic of the medieval Ben Ezra Synagogue in Egypt before they were discovered in the late 19th century. A geniza is a sort of above-ground burial chamber for sacred books, which are never thrown away if they contain the name of God; but the books and letters in the Cairo attic included many documents that were not sacred and mysteriously wound up there. They have awakened in a transformed world, but like Rip van Winkle, they have found living relatives to take them in, which is perhaps the true test of civilization.

The seminary has about 30,000 fragments from the geniza, including a letter from Maimonides signed in his own hand in 1170, requesting money to ransom captives taken prisoner by the crusader king Amalric I of Jerusalem. There is a love letter written in Judeo-Arabic by a traveler in 1204 to his wife, and an account of a brawl that broke out in the synagogue after some disliked person was called to the Torah.

Scholars are still working to match these jigsaw pages and tell their stories. For years a Hebrew poem mysteriously bearing the Gregorian notations of the medieval church had baffled scholars — how did Jews wind up with Christian musical notes? — until several pages of a diary, also in the geniza, were pieced together from various collections and the notes were discovered to be the work of one Obadiah the Proselyte, a monk who converted to Judaism in 1102 and brought along a knowledge of church music.

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22 September 2003 ::   And when I stand on these tables before you, you will know what all this time was for  
We'd like to welcome into the world little Natasha, the first child of my sister and her husband, and my parents' first grandchild. Born this afternoon, destined for great things.

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A Miracle of Science, now with 100% more holography! Cleans and whitens! We'll sell it to you for a million dollars.

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The world's best keyboard:
This keyboard looks good on the outside, but all the components are made from finely spun sugar, which melt after a short time of use. That is why its production cost is high, but its resale value is so low. After a few days this keyboard is only good for snacking on. You can make the keyboard last longer by putting it in the microwave on high for 3 minutes, which will carmelize and harden the sugar. However this invalidates the manufacturer warranty.

I purchased this keyboard on a whim and man was it the best million I've ever spent. THIS KEYBOARD CURES CANCER. It has a button on it that summons Jesus to come and talk to you. WARNING: Don't play BF1942 with Jesus; has the walk-on-water hack. He can also fly and see through walls. This Keyboard changes the oil in your car and makes a killer rump roast. It can also potty train your dog and your kids while serving up SoftServe ice cream (vanilla only as of this writing).

Amazon keeps deleting the goofier testimonials as they find them. This barrage of lunacy began when Amazon inexplicably marked a $15 keyboard as costing a million dollars...

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19 September 2003 ::   He speaks in monosyllables, which means he understands words like "death," "kill," "quark," and "gene," but not words like "mercy," "water," or "hygiene"  
A bunch of automatic conversions, all in one place.

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Science and technology together march on with a truly stunning velocity. The American government is funding research into the assembly of a space elevator to the tune of two and a half million dollars, and it is possible - if the wild-eyed predictions of one of the organizations chasing the dream come true - the elevator will be built by 2018.

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18 September 2003 ::   Suddenly there was a sound like an accordion being thrown against a wall made out of cooked spaghetti  
This update of A Miracle of Science is brought to you by the letters I, C, and O, and the number N.

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Apropos of the incoming Hurricane Isabel I made a comment that the number of hurricanes to form on Lake Michigan in the last millennium is zero. Mitch informed me that I was wrong, and that there had been at least one in the last century, the White Hurricane of November 1913.
While [a great storm fed by polar air and Gulf moisture] occurs with some regularity during fall and winter months in the Great Lakes, there are probably a dozen or so mammoth storms which are noted in history for their severity, creating extensive losses in life and property, particularly to the shipping industry. While controversy may exist about which storm was the strongest and produced the most devastation, one could hardly deny that the fall storm of November 7-12th, 1913 ranks near or at the top! In fact, it is generally agreed that the November 1913 storm (which concentrated more on Lake Huron for its death and destruction) was the greatest ever to strike the Great Lakes. No other Great Lakes storm even begins to compare in modern history with its death toll of 235 lives (possibly more, as ship personnel records back then weren't the best) and up to forty shipwrecks. Of these wrecks, eight were large Lake freighters that sank below Lake Huron's stormy surface, taking all hands with them.
Thanks, Mitch!

Update: According to the NOAA National Hurricane Center, a hurricane is different from the storm of 1913. The White Hurricane was an extratropical cyclone, which gets its power from a very different source than does a hurricane. Still, it's a cool thing to know, and the difference between the two types of storms is nonexistent from the point of view of damage done. (Thank you to Jessica Gothie for the NOAA link.)

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Mitch Hagmaier
In these future days, it is absolutely vital that you make certain your mayoral candidates aren't replicants.

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Mark Sachs


17 September 2003 ::   Whenever you have to parachute out of a tank? You’re driving it wrong.  
I heard about this one on NPR a couple of days ago. Scientists researching how we learn had a group of experimental subjects play a cab-driving game. From the description on NPR, this game could be none other than the goofy cab-driving game Crazy Taxi. Playing Crazy Taxi for science. The world is stranger than we can know.

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How do you damage a quarter of a billion dollars worth of satellite? You forget to replace 24 bolts worth a few bucks each.
As the NOAA-N Prime spacecraft was being repositioned from vertical to horizontal on the "turn over cart" at approximately 7:15 PDT today, it slipped off the fixture, causing severe damage. (See attached photo). The 18' long spacecraft was about 3' off the ground when it fell.

The mishap was caused because 24 bolts were missing from a fixture in the “turn over cart”. Two errors occurred. First, technicians from another satellite program that uses the same type of “turn over cart” removed the 24 bolts from the NOAA cart on September 4 without proper documentation. Second, the NOAA team working today failed to follow the procedure to verify the configuration of the NOAA “turn over cart” since they had used it a few days earlier.

The pictures are worth a look, even if you're not interested in the particulars of the accident.

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16 September 2003 ::   So, you want a realistic, down-to-earth show... that's completely off-the-wall and swarming with magic robots?  
Craig has found a treasure trove of eye-bending optical illusions. May cause motion sickness, discomfort, a bloating sensation, or exploding head disease. Use with caution. Keep arms and legs inside the web page at all times.

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Craig Powell
It is perhaps not terribly wise to permanently mark yourself in a language you don't understand.

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Jessica Gothie


15 September 2003 ::   Purse-Head is fed up with the Brown Lumps of Knowledge  
Kilograms! A new page of A Miracle of Science.

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Ohio re-ratified the 14th Amendment to the Constitution recently. I'm going to quote the entire amendment below, just so we're all on the same page:
Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Section 2. Representatives shall be apportioned among the several states according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of persons in each state, excluding Indians not taxed. But when the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the executive and judicial officers of a state, or the members of the legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such state, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime, the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in the proportion which the number of such male citizens shall bear to the whole number of male citizens twenty-one years of age in such state.

Section 3. No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any state, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any state legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any state, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.

Section 4. The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. But neither the United States nor any state shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void.

Section 5. The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Looks pretty solid. right? Due process and equal protection, rational distribution of representatives, rebels are unable to serve in government, and, by the way, if you loaned money to those dumbass slaveholding rebels you are so SOL.

Well, Ohio state representative Tom Brinkman (R-Cincinnati) didn't vote for the re-ratification. Jerk. I hope he gets voted out of office, then eventually dies a bitter, hateful, broken man whom nobody loves or remembers.

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12 September 2003 ::   Enjoys WALKS thru the PARK! Greets MAPLE TREES with a smile!  
On September 21, the Galileo space probe will be deliberately crashed into Jupiter to avoid accidentally contaminating any of the giant planet's moons. After two decades of mis-starts, problems, and inspired engineering decisions, the probe will leave behind a legacy of scientific firsts including the discovery of the first natural satellite of an asteroid, being the first spacecraft to orbit an outer planet and to make in interstellar discovery, and retrieval of data that strongly indicate an ocean under the ice of Europa:
In 1998, [geologist Randy] Tufts discovered an immense, gently curved fault line in the southern hemisphere of Europa. Galileo photographs revealed that the crack, which was subsequently named the Astypalaea Linea, extends about six hundred miles, which is comparable to the San Andreas Fault. This feature offered clear evidence that parts of Europa’s crust were slowly moving—perhaps even floating.

That summer, it occurred to Tufts that the curvature exhibited by both the Astypalaea Linea and the arcuate ridges could be caused by the immense gravitational pull of Jupiter, which has three hundred times the mass of Earth. The linked curves of the arcuate ridges, he realized, could be explained by the fact that Jupiter does not exert a consistent amount of force on Europa. The planet pulls more strongly on the moon when the two bodies happen to be closer together. “Since Europa’s elliptical orbit sometimes takes it farther away from Jupiter, the amount of stretching it undergoes kind of relaxes a little bit,” he explained. Cracks start propagating—but then, as Europa recedes from Jupiter, they stop. Because Europa’s Jupiter-facing hemisphere rocks back and forth during each orbit, by the time the gravitational stresses pick up again they’re oriented in a slightly different direction.

With the help of Greg Hoppa, an orbital-dynamics specialist, Tufts plotted the effect of these fluctuating force levels; he ended up with looping cracks that look just like the ones on Europa. That was quite a breakthrough, but the team’s next insight was even more significant: the whole process couldn’t happen without the existence of a large body of subsurface water to exert tidal pressure from below. Ice crusted on solid rock could never be affected so much. The tides on Europa are much higher than those on Earth, reaching almost a hundred feet; when Jupiter pulls these enormous subsurface bulges of water in its direction, Tufts concluded, the ice on the surface begins to crack.

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Gotta love cryptography: the Playfair Cypher

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Jessica Gothie


11 September 2003 ::   Ooo, a lesson in not changing history from Mister I'm-My-Own-Grandpa!  
What have we here? It's the next page of A Miracle of Science, arriving like clockwork. Quite possibly the only webcomic ever to include the term "debris field."

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9 September 2003 ::   Some people are very tall and merciless. Quincy is destroying San Antonio.  
The definitive FAQ for roleplaying videogames has been written.
Q: Why do wolves have gold?
A: Same reason everyone does. Wolves like gambling, buying more powerful equipment, and booze like everyone else.
Mark put up a link to this days ago, and I read it when he linked to it, but I neglected to post it here until now for reasons which can be best described as terminal brain damage.

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Mark Sachs


8 September 2003 ::   A cafe with scary ghosts of cute stuffed animals!  
In the newest page of A Miracle of Science nothing blows up. For once.

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On the new battlefield, wireless networking, chat sessions, and email are the order of the day.
While White and his team continue setting up, I walk over to one of the vehicles that delivers missiles to the launchers. It's a two-man truck equipped with GCCS [Global Command and Control System] and piloted by Specialist Tom Fox. I ask him to show me how the system works, and he offers me a seat in the cab. A ruggedized computer is bolted onto the dash and displays a map of the surrounding area. I can see each of the missile launchers and ammunition supply trucks moving around the desert, including the one I'm sitting in.

Someone asks Fox a question, and I realize this is my chance to try out the software. I right-click and am given the option of zooming in and out. One zoom out and I'm looking at the entire Baghdad region. Another zoom out and I see all of Iraq, with forces dotted in the north and heavily clumped around the capital in the center. One more click and I'm looking at the entire sphere of Central Command, from the edge of Libya to Pakistan. I see forces in Turkey, and clustered in Iraq and Kuwait. I feel like a four-star general. I'm sitting in the Iraqi desert looking at troop movements across 25 countries.

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5 September 2003 ::   Quid quid Latine dictum sit, altum viditur  
The fringes of the Internet hold some weird stuff, like this step-by-step guide to building a time traveller lure.
Once you've decided where to meet, go to this place. Analyze it closely. Pick three spots within 50 feet of each other. Mark these spots permanently. Create your identification markings by chiseling or etching.........just be should they're permanent,....crayons, grease pencils, and related tools won't work. Also be should sure your chosen spots are at ground level.

You may choose to make more than three markings. The reason for the multiple markings is plain. By placing more than one marking, you are taking into consideration that some of your markings won't survive into the Time Period of your Traveller. You must make a survivable mark.

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What do you get when you combine two extremely geek-friendly pop-culture icons in one short film? Asuka the Black Knight. (Warning: 29 MB MPEG file.)

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Craig Powell


4 September 2003 ::   Has INTEGRITY! Refuses to live on the MOON! Retains his SANITY!  
Please to be enjoying the two newest pages of A Miracle of Science: one, two.

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The art of psychotic Louis Wain is really quite disturbing and yet beautiful.
Since Wain was young, he used to draw and paint cats for calendars, albums, postcards, etc. When he became 57 years old, he was affected by schizophrenia, which overtook his life as well his art. The last 15 years of his life were spent in psychiatric institutions. His cat's paintings started to change and to show startling images. Quite revealing of his psychotic condition were the cat's eyes. See how they become fixed with hostility, even in the earliest paintings, because the psychotic probably tends to think that the world is looking upon him in a menacing way. Another sign is the fragmentation of the cat's body. They become altered in a strange way under the psychotic's gaze, and almost always are represented as distorted and phantastic shapes.

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Jessica Gothie


3 September 2003 ::   That why I'm 75 years old and only eat wheat grass shakes and the things that eat wheat grass --Matt Smith  
Only the largest and most gravitationally constant pieces of large planetary matter are dew picked from our 'secret' Oort Cloud base near the Kevlar V Penal Colony. Delivery is guaranteed to the microsecond with our new patented Dr. Zeebor's wormtube delivery system. Straight from our warehouse to your lab in .8 sec or your next Dr. Zeebor's 'Screaming Weasels' pizza is free.

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Matt Smith
Things to do in Breezewood when your refrigerator is dead.
Stacey was the first person to open the freezer.

Biologists say that human beings have reflexes to protect the body in situations where reason and the mind do not have time to stop and reflect on a logical course of action. If you touch a hot stove accidentally, your reflexes pull your hand back sometimes before you are conciously aware that your hand is being burned. The "Ouch, that hurt!" comes after the hand is already safely away from the fire.

Evidently, humanity somewhere along the line picked up a reflex to save the human mind from being traumatized by smells. As a result, Stacey unconciously slammed the freezer door shut and ran upstairs, wide-eyed and babbling. It was close for her...too close.

She advised me of the situation, and I proceeded to the basement, thinking all the time about the Amityville Horror, where the homeowners discover the "Room of Blood" in the basement of the house. I gingerly opened the freezer door, realizing before I did exactly what I had done to cause this and that it would fall on my shoulders alone to deal with this problem.

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Jessica Gothie
Telescopes, tee-shirts, and the transformation of disappointment.

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Sharon Cichelli


2 September 2003 ::   THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.  
Seven asteroids are being named after the seven astronauts who died when the Space Shuttle Columbia broke up on reentry.

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This semi-serious look at time travel is pretty keen. It contains the omnipresent intensely-dense-infinitely-long-madly-rotating-cylinder as well as other old standbys.
Kerr Ring
When Karl Schwarzschild solved Einstein's equations in 1917, he found that stars can collapse into infinitesimally small points in space - what we now call black holes. Four decades later, physicist Roy Kerr discovered that some stars are saved from total collapse and become rotating rings. Kerr didn't regard these rings as time machines. However, because their intense gravity distorts space-time, and because they permit large objects to enter on one side and exit on the other in one piece, Kerr-type black holes can serve as portals to the past or the future. If finding one with the proper dimensions is too much trouble, you can always build one yourself.

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(The Side of the Angels)

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